Dorky Anti-War Poster Malfunctions, Plus Tai & Randy

So here we were, part of a dwindling crowd, all solemn and trying to keep the kids from falling off the curb into the busy boulevard at our local neighborhood anti-war vigil, explaining who McCain is and why he’s nuts, finer points of differences between Sunnis and Shiites but for preschoolers and so forth, when a friend we’d invited over looked at my sign and said, “Hey, how come there’s no bottom stem coming down on your peace sign?”

And I looked down and

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA on me, I’d drawn a Mercedes symbol instead of completing it and making it a peace sign. So my sign said, “Mercedes YES, McCain, NO!” instead of “Peace YES…etc.”

The only sane response at such a monumentally stupid fuck-up seemed to be hilarity.

And the Unreliable Narrator’s sign used to say “I [heart] [peace sign, correctly this time]“, except earlier that evening he’d made some kind of weird cross bar across the ‘I’, rendering it illegible, and his heart was more blob than heart due to some completely unnecessary last-minute unsupervised painting. And then he’d added more blobs of glitter paint while I was running around baking our pizzas for dinner so no one would be hungry at the vigil, finishing my own poster (obviously NOT FINISHED ENOUGH as it still needed PROOFREADING), and helping our guests make their poster while keeping paint-spattered 4-year olds off the carpet/floor/walls.

HB was so humiliated he abbreviated his sign by folding over the messed-up “I” so the sign now said “[blob/heart] [peace sign]“.

I told him he should’ve made his own damn sign.

And that’s how our solemn participation in the peace vigil devolved into an “I Love Lucy” comedy of errors. Yo, that’s how we roll: gravitas and hilaritas. The laughing, because to cry would be awful. (May I say that as soon as we noticed this horrible mistake, we fixed it by re-purposing a blob of still-wet paint from the third sign? So I was not doomed to confront drivers with my seriously wrong message.)

Fallen Iraqi war soldiers and countless dead civilians, you have my deepest apologies. I accept my punishment willingly, which is to blog about how dorky I am, have HB say snarkily, “I think you need to blog about this,” and otherwise never live it down among my friends who were there last night and all the ones reading it now. Perhaps my Cindy Sheehan piece will tip the karmic balance a little more my way?

The End

P.S. Oh, this article? Isn’t gossip lifted from People magazine–it is completely news-free (I mean not even Journalism Lite but Journalism Nil) AND it appeared in the Los Angeles Times. But you were totally wondering what figure skaters Tai Babilonia and Randy Gardner were up to anyway, right?

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