Heavy-Handed Lessons in Jedi Knighthood

Angelenos are far from anti-intellectual. Are you kidding me? We have all that time trapped in a car with each other to philosophize. To wit–

The Unreliable Narrator: Daddy, how did Star Wars get to be bad?

HB: You mean Darth Vader? Well, he started out good, and then turned bad.

The UN: What turned him bad?

HB: He started listening to bad people. And fighting good people. And he fell into a volcano. (beat) And he didn’t listen to his mommy and daddy.

The UN: Why does he wear that black mask?

HB: Well when he fell into the volcano, he got burned. And afterwards he needed to hold his face together so he wore a mask.

The UN: Did he use guns?

HB: No, swords made out of lasers called lightsabers.

The UN: Light savers?

HB: Light sabers.

The UN: Did he kill people?

HB: Yes, he did. He was very bad. He didn’t listen to his mommy and daddy, so the lesson is that you should always listen to your parents.

(long beat)

The UN: Daddy, you can design the costumes for my Cirque du Soleil show. And mommy can sing.

HB: Okay.

The UN: I want a purple costume with rainbows on it.

HB: Okay!

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