Things That Weren’t Designed Goodly in the Olden Days

  • Cars. They were heavy and you had to crank them up to start them. Plus no seatbelts. Why were they heavy? Because…they didn’t use any plastic back then. What’s plastic? Well…

  • Ships. Also heavy and they sank, especially if they hit icebergs. (Daddy, you totally stole that from TITANIC!) An iceberg is like a big ice cube.
  • Pens. You had to dip them in ink. Or use a feather. A feather dipped in ink. No, a big feather. That came off a really big bird. They had big, huge birds in the olden days.
  • Air conditioning. In the olden days, they had none. People had to use fans. Or sweat.
  • Egg beaters. (Ha! Now who’s flopping sweat, daddy-o?) They were…they looked like… oh, never mind, kid.
  • You know what? We’ll take you to the museum and we can learn about the olden days there, ok?

HB has been driving the UN to school every morning. and I chuckle knowing he’s now being barraged by question after question after question. Before, I did more of the morning driving and the afternoon pickup and had the double blast of CIA-style interrogation. I’d sit down to dinner thinking I’d get some relief–but no, HB used to eat quietly letting my poorly informed behind twist in the wind and then snicker at my answers.

What no one ever tells you is that your elementary, high school and any college education you receive is not for your benefit, but because your toddler/preschooler is that deadly combination of insatiably curious and talkative. (The talkative I blame on HB’s dad.) And the Unreliable Narrator will be punching holes in your reliability as he makes you speculate about things you never would’ve otherwise.

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0 thoughts on “Things That Weren’t Designed Goodly in the Olden Days

  1. Pingback: Boys Don’t Cry. Yes They Do. « P i l l o w b o o k

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