my mother makes a roasted chicken to die for, and…well, let’s just leave it at that.
i’m actually a decent cook, with the ability to put different flavors and textures together appealingly (for the most part), but i dislike cooking. i find the prep and cleanup drudgery.
i love to get everyone in the kitchen for thanksgiving and have several hands chopping and cutting and stirring…everyone involved in making a pumpkin pie, soup, and turkey plus dressing all at once. but. if i have to determine the menu for the whole week, then cook it, then do it again week after week after week…my interest just shrivels up. see what i mean? it’s too tempting to set the iFood on repeat. drudgery, i tell you.
now some people swear that food = love. those of us who survived the indifferent kitchen fare of our dutybound (and no less resenting it), 9-5 working mothers know differently. food sometimes = love. mostly, food = food.
in my childhood, attention and time spent with me = love more than food did. and as a feminist, i wish my mom would just lay off the head trips she sends me (and her) on with this whole “you need to make a home-cooked meal” shit. mom: see your inner take-out gal, and embrace her, and drop the whole martha stewart, cat-o’nine-tails-routine to the back, ok? we both know your favorite thing is to go out to eat, so stop with the shame spiral. plus i promised this chick named virginia i’d kill the angel of my house, so i don’t want that bitch coming back to bug me about making dishes from scratch and meals that take 20 ingredients and an hour to prepare like some pesky zombie in a gingham apron.
i joke that the thing i like to cook with most is the phone. i am proudly my mother’s daughter, because honey? we pride ourselves on knowing all the good restaurants and what to order there.
so i come from a line of women who hate to cook. on the other hand, i’m damn picky about what the Unreliable Narrator eats. and i LOVE TO EAT. especially ethnic food.
so i thought i’d talk about the Lazy Mama’s Guide to Eating Cheap, Organic, Nutritious Food and follow up with A Review of the Reviewers. because at our house, it’s either Trader Joe’s/Whole Foods, or some yummy little neighborhood dive.
consider the virginia woolf a little appetizer for now.