Missy Diva and Her Animalectomy














Wasabi Hides. The All-Seeing UN & His Painted Toes.


so ebi has a long silky coat, which in the wintertime gets pretty thick. it’s a problem when it’s springtime, though…she’s a lazy self-groomer (she tries to get her sister to clean her face!) and she doesn’t get enough brushing from me and big snarly mats form in her fur.

recently she had one of these wretched mats on her chest. i mean it literally went from her collarbones to the mid-portion of her stomach. it was like a piece of very thick felt, a felt so big and animal-nasty no kindergartner would dream of using it. that “felt” could’ve soled a smallish shoe. it was a second animal she’d been sporting on her underside: a fur-clotted pilot fish to her mostly asleep-all-day shark.

on these occasions i’m driven by guilt and disgust to take some sharp trimming scissors to the mat. i had to be careful as one time i mistakenly poked her with the sharp tip and she recoiled and looked at me reproachfully and with confusion, as if to say, “why’d you bite me, mamacat? i was being good and letting you groom me.” i felt terrible as the scissor tips are sharp and i drew a bead of blood.

A Close-Up of the Bald Spot.


so this time i crouched down and carefully cut parallel to her body with the fingers of my other hand in between the scissors and her flesh, and i detached that second animal. the fur mat had formed a dense layer that hovered above her skin and was really only held in place by a few key sections of guide hairs. i cut those and the mat lifted away. a successful animalectomy.



The Animal After Its Removal.










i threw it in the middle of the floor and she and her sister sniffed it and then ambled away.

It’s All Somehow More Comical On Its Side, Isn’t It? AKA, It’s Vertical On My Computer, Why Isn’t it Here?





















From Far Away, It Could Be a Lone Slipper


the whole time, the Unreliable Narrator watched every detail closely and with extreme interest.

some day, son, all this will be yours.

0 thoughts on “Missy Diva and Her Animalectomy

  1. Pingback: Feline Horror Show « P i l l o w b o o k

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