i’m always keenly interested in the lives of young women coming up. that stupid article about female harvard undergrads already planning to “opt out” when they get married to escape the prestigious law or whatever jobs they worked hard to get…that kinda set my teeth on edge.
here’s a fascinating NYT article about the “boy crisis”–dudes who underachieve at college or don’t even make it to college (At Colleges, Woman Are Leaving Men in the Dust). one very sharp woman had this to say about her slacker-dude counterparts:
“Most college women want a high-powered career that they are passionate about,” Ms. Smyers said. “But they also want a family, and that probably means taking time off, and making dinner. I’m rushing through here, taking the most credits you can take without paying extra, because I want to do some amazing things, and establish myself as a career woman, before I settle down.”
as nike says, JUST DO IT. good for you, babe.
Her male classmates, she said, feel less pressure.
“The men don’t seem to hustle as much,” Ms. Smyers said. “I think it’s a male entitlement thing. They think they can sit back and relax and when they graduate, they’ll still get a good job. They seem to think that if they have a firm handshake and speak properly, they’ll be fine.”
yeah, it’s totally about male entitlement. and also, perversely, because of every young woman’s hyper-awareness about her biological clock, a lot of them develop a powerful drive early on which young men totally lack. the laziness of male privilege.
to connect this with linda hirshman’s analysis, is it because these underachieving (mostly white, i believe) young men know that 1) they won’t have to up-end their careers to have children, and 2) they can always find a younger woman to have children with if they pour their all into their work and hobbies, and reach the age of 40 still unmarried?
wouldn’t it be a cruel twist of fate if the later men waited to have children, the more likely they were to shoot blanks? give them their own biological clock, then we’ll see who’s slacking.
if Cutie Nubbin grows up to say something like this
“I think men do better out in the world because they care more about the power, the status, the C.E.O. job,” Mr. Kohn said. “And maybe society holds men a little higher.”
i’ll know i’ve failed as a parent and feminist mom.