it’s been a long time since i last inhabited my body so intimately. one thing about pregnancy is that it awakens a new sort of mindfulness toward all the sensations you feel: the spasms of ligaments stretching. flutters that could be mistaken for gas but are quickening. the yawing roll of baby from one side of the belly to the other, like a ship lurching in high but slow seas. rolls, squirms, kicks, hiccups, and even a strange sensation like sharp nails plucking at the placenta from within. then of course there’s trying to navigate aisles and narrow passages when you’re a lot wider than you used to be, which means brushing the belly up accidentally against objects and the occasional person.
my feet bear the burden of all this new weight pretty uncomplainingly. my extremities are always warm. sometimes i feel a head or a foot go right into my bladder. today i had a sensation of someone compressing what felt like my appendix — pressure and a very very slight bruising kind of pain from within. the little guy’s limbs within splay out to new corners of my belly. the first time i felt a hand push out on one side of the belly and a foot kick on the other side was very exciting — it gave me sense of how big he’s grown. it was as if he stretched out, testing the space he was in.